I'm not feeling good. It was the best feeling I can remember when I accidentally read one of the emails sent by my customer. You may be thinking two things: First, how did I get into his mails? Second, what was the email all about? As his VA, he had given me a full access to his personal mails via remote desktop. According to him, in that way I can organize his incoming mails. Not thinking that this privilege will later lead on to an awful revelation.
It happened to me one day, I was bored. I'm done with the tasks he had given me. So, to keep me preoccupied I browsed his mails especially his sent items box. As I navigated the mails I saw a mail entitled “Virtual Assistance not working out”. That was my first hint. I opened the mail and viola! He's complaint was about his new VA – well, that's me!. In his email he enumerated four definite reasons for a possible replacement of his new assigned VA: first, I don't know the basic business process; second, he spent worth of his time (that's what he said) giving me instructions; third, I am poor in written English and finally, I am poor in spoken English. That was a quadruple BANG!!! I felt pity for myself. I want to give myself a very consoling hug. I felt humiliation flooding my system. Tears joined my hurtful celebration. I didn't expect something awful like that. He just wanted a replacement.
I cried. I think that's the best outlet I have. But, not that much. I send a SMS to my friend telling him about the incident. I sought for a healthy advice. I was really flabbergasted.
I wrote a sorry note address to him saying what I am feeling at that moment (but omitted some truths). I incorporated it inside my daily time sheet. It was one of his processing rules; to send him a list of activities done throughout the shift.
Right now, I'm not feeling depressed or bad about it. I'm calm enough now (at least) to answer his allegations. It is true that I'm not that geek when it comes to BASIC business process. But, am I not doing my best to learn it? If he only know how much effort I simply exerted just to adjust. I surfed the net and befriended Mr. Google. I watched videos and tutorials for me to get the gist of his work environment. I thirst for knowledge. I owe to have it from him. My company told me that he (the client) will be the one to do the training. But, he took this statement a plot against him. It's a simple logic if he don't want to teach me about his business who will care to do it? He told me to ask question if I'm not sure. But, when I ask, it will took him couple of minutes to answer me. He don't even answer my queries. I don't want to make my own move when I process something that is in line with his business. He may get mad at me. Thus, my working performance was affected. He also gave me instructions that is beyond the access he have given me. So, how will I do it if I can't have the passes?
He called me but I was really nervous. The conversation I have with him was my biggest downfall.
I was nervous during that time that I scarcely hear his words. If only he has given me a chance to prove myself it would have a different ending. I felt trapped in a shell. I wanted to also prove my worth.
I don't pity myself anymore. His expertise is all about installation of software, finding solutions and whatever terms you can associate to technology. Mine is about new gathering and interviewing sources. I get the job to work for him because I want an experience. Old cliché says that Experience is the best teacher. Truly, he had given me a good one.
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